Written on Water

All my best ideas are written on water, sinking to a bottom that doesn't exist. Currents shift them left and right. Waves swamp them. One day I will die and take them all with me, if they haven't evaporated first. All my ambitions and best intentions go slack when things get hard. I lose them... Continue Reading →

A Mouthful of Dirt

I say 'no' sometimes, because I'm afraid. Even typing those words, I feel the trepidation of confessing something I feel ashamed of, that occasionally, if I don't think I'm as strong as the person who has invited me along, or if I suspect I'll look dumb doing something I'm not good at (yet), I find... Continue Reading →

Adversity University

Running is an elective. Mountain biking, too. All the biking. And hiking, also. In fact all the exertion. Optional. The timeline of human history is one that runs from high exertion through extreme inertia. We once ran to chase game so we could eat. Now I can order a pizza (and often do) from my... Continue Reading →

NDO

This is just typical. I'm laying here on the couch. taking a day off. Gray clouds scud across the sky intermittently dropping rain. The TV chatters in the other room, and I have maps up, scrawling routes from here to there, backing up, rerouting, trying to find something new. Tomorrow is Sunday, and I want... Continue Reading →

Getting Cold

I can feel the cold on my skin. It's a sensation let's say, but neither pleasant nor unpleasant. It's not keeping me from anything. I'd describe it as a sort of buzz, a little menthol, a little electric. I can live with it. In fact, I can live with a lot of it. Maybe it... Continue Reading →

Do You Rest Day?

It's like I don't know what I'm doing. Meghna gave me a No Days Off calendar, and as simple as that, I've pushed myself to run/ride/workout every day. Yesterday, while thoroughly enjoying my outdoor activities, I hit a wall. As a result, I lay on the couch most of the day. Brain dead. I drank... Continue Reading →

Comfort is the Enemy of Comfort

I'm not trying to affect that paranoid style that seems so popular in America today. And I'm not trying to strive for a perfection created by the marketeers and manipulators. I'm just out here chasing my bliss. Hugging trees. Running trails. Riding bikes. Hiking up steep goddamned pitches, and sometimes skiing back down. I just... Continue Reading →

The Bad Idea Brigade

On Saturday I woke at 5:35am in a too-soft bed in a rental condo in Vermont. It had snowed through the night, five inches of fresh white. We had planned to be at the mountain by 6am to begin the long, slow climb up to as high as they'd let us go before skiing down.... Continue Reading →

This Depression

I don't know how these things start. What happens? Is there some chemical tipping point? Or is it a slow unbalancing of the scales of contentment? I have experienced depressive episodes with varying frequency since I was eight or nine, so I feel as though I should know by now, where it comes from, but... Continue Reading →

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