As a writer, I have been fairly prolific, if not particularly competent. For a time I was writing 30,000 words a month about football (soccer), until I burned out and gave up on making a living at it. Then I spent a decade and more writing about bikes and cycling, mainly at Red Kite Prayer, but also latterly at The Cycling Independent (TCI).

I bring up TCI here and now, because I think a lot of the output here at Dirt Soul Search is pretty serious. At TCI I’m not doing nearly so much navel gazing. Maybe it’s that I’ve been riding bikes too long to continue taking it seriously.

At any rate, I do a regular feature there called Robot’s Useless Reviews in which I write faux reviews of things that don’t really need to be reviewed. They’re part gonzo stream-of-consciousness and part homage to the legendary ’90s zine Beer Frame, just so keep things as obscure as possible.

Many of my running friends don’t read my cycling content, because they are parochial in their interests and probably don’t really love me. Nonetheless I’m giving you a small compendium of my Useless Reviews. Maybe you’ll enjoy them and even start reading The Cycling Independent, but probably not. And that’s ok. Ghostbusters warned me about crossing streams. I don’t even know why I’m doing this.

Robot’s Useless Reviews – Park Blue Grease

Robot’s Useless Reviews – Full Gas Coke

Robot’s Useless Reviews – The Chamois

Robot’s Useless Reviews – GPS

Robot’s Useless Reviews – My Garmin Virtual Partner

Robot’s Useless Reviews – The Duchy of Brabant

If you liked these, there are more.